So, ya wanna use my shit?
Sure, here’re my house keys, just don’t rifle through my underwear drawer, Pervo.
Here’re my car keys, just bring it back with a full tank of gas, and don’t touch the change in the console there, Sticky Fingers.
Ya want my credit card? You got it, but you’ll have to pay the bill before you get any credit there, Money Bags.
Ya need some heels to fancy up that nightwalker outfit you’re so famous for? No problemo, just don’t scuff up the leather when you take that spill off your chair, Cheap Date.
Ya need to borrow some jeans? No issues, unless you pop the button off of them, Muffin Top.
Ya need to get laid? Hold on right there, what’s wrong with her husband, why ya need mine? Actually, come to think of it, take the Bastard! No, stop….don’t run away, I said you could keep him, Brokeback.
Ya wanna borrow a book? Sure thing, just don’t dog-ear the pages, Destructo.
What? You say you wanna take my writings for your own, without my consent? Uh, and continue to spread my mediocrity throughout the entire (literary) world, I think not! Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m all about using other people’s prose & quips, but that’s only ’cause they’re better than mine, I’m not Holier than Thou, you can just call me Humble.