Hellions, and Their Crappy Parents.

First, I’m gonna try to make this short, as the mere thought of “The Beibs” makes me throw up a little in my mouth, so please excuse any sounds of heaving coming from your computer. That’s just me, and my barf bag.

My last post (Follow Me….I Have Punch), had very much the same feel. But, I’m still lost in all of this. So…..

Let’s try a hypothetical situation.

If Justin Beiber (sorry if the spelling is wrong, I don’t care enough about him to check it) said to your kid, “Let’s go get something to eat”, then upon arrival of the bill, said “OK, let’s slip out while the waiter’s gone”, would they do it……..?

Would they do it regardless of the level of their friendship with “The Beibs“, being barely an acquaintance, or someone that they’d call a friend, simply because of his status? Or, God forbid because he might never call them again if they didn‘t play along? Would they do it without a thought, not caring how much/little the damage was on the bill? Would they do it because their pride took precedence over their moral value system, and they didn‘t want to wash dishes while Justin was out having fun, and laughing at their expense? Would they do it at the expense of others, so that they could be cool too? Would they do it, just because they knew that they could get away with it?

Or….Would they not do it………?

Because you taught them about Karma, and that it truly is a Bitch? Or, because they don’t want the waiter to have to pay for their meal from their own pocket? Or, they wouldn’t want that to happen to themselves, or you? Or, because you instilled in them that nothing in life is free, and anything that they want needs to be earned, not taken? Or, because they’re not willing to risk their freedom over a childish act? Or, they don’t need to prove how cool they are to someone that has no value to society? Or, maybe, because they knew that as their Mother, you’d be ashamed of their actions, because she “raised you better than that”?

Or, better yet, would they speak out against it………?

Because it’s just plain wrong, or, a real friend would never ask them to do something that was against their values, or could slap them with a criminal wrap sheet for life. Or maybe, just maybe, that being a friend of “The Sleaze”, doesn’t define them, nor make them a better person. Or, because there’s not enough giving, and too much taking as it is. I mean really, wouldn’t it just be better for the Earth’s moral compass to point a little more North, and a lot less South?

Either way, is it something that they would actually have to stop and think about, or, would the answer come to them immediately? Would they have to weigh the pros & cons to make a determination? Would they be at a crossroad, with an angel on one shoulder, and a devil on the other, both wanting them to take a different direction? Would they put so much emphasis on “who” the person was, that they wouldn’t stop to think about “what” the person was? Would they allow their moral character to crumble beneath them upon request? Would they enthusiastically upchuck everything that we’ve taught them, just for bragging rights over their friends? I would hope that they’d know that they could retain their bragging rights, simply by saying that they turned “The B-bag” down.

So, as I sit here, I have to ask myself. “Self”, I say. “What are we raising our kids to be, or, to believe?” Did you not hear that 49% of Americans, don’t think that Christmas is a religious holiday? What the hell!! These same people were kids just a decade ago.

Have we not taught them the fundamental difference between right, and wrong? Because, it really is just that plain & simple.

Do we so desperately want our kids to have it better than we did, that we would turn a blind eye to all of the nice, expensive things that they bring into the house, instead of asking how, or where they got them?

When my son’s were growing up, I instilled certain values in them. Fundamental values that would allow them to make good decisions, for themselves and others. I would tell them, that if they hung out with a certain clique, “because they had fun”, to consider the fact that all of the cliques had fun. They just chose to have fun in their own way. The “Geeks” enjoyed games, and books, and building shit. The “Preppies” enjoyed shopping & pool parties. The “Stoners” enjoyed chilling out with a beer (and the obvious joint) & being free spirits. The “Jocks” enjoyed working out & dating (seemingly superficial) Cheerleaders. It didn’t matter what their demographic was, any more than who their demigod was. They all had fun together, within their group. And, for those lucky few (like my son’s) who were diverse enough to not chose to be labeled, they got to enjoy it all (minus the drinking & weed), and were loved by all for it.

I’ve always had full faith in my boys that they’ll “do the right thing”. Not because they thought I might find something out, and beat their ever loving asses, but, because I raised them to be respectful, and to take the feelings of others into account, be they peers, adults, officials, bullies, animals, or the elderly. But, my son’s have also learned that they, themselves, and no one else, is responsible for their actions, or the consequences thereof. I’m also proud to say that my boys have zero qualms about speaking out about social injustice, and don’t give one iota what you think about them doing it. They wholly understand, that if you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.

I digress.

But, is it only me, or does it seem that far too many parents today, are raising Superficial Cheerleaders, who support all of the wrong people, for all of the wrong reasons?

I, for one, feel that that ticket that “The Dweebs” bought to be launched into space, needs to punched! Let’s send him, and the horse that he rode in on, into the far reaches of space, where he can hover around with the rest of the space junk. Maybe that way, he can bring back that proud glint that used to be seen in his Mother’s eyes.

In the immortal words of What’s Her Face, “Stop The Insanity”!

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Follow Me…..I Have Punch!

Some years back, I received a call from my friends sister, stating that she (my friend) had been arrested for embezzlement. “You‘re kidding me”, was all that I could say, repeating it several times over. I knew of the pranks that she could pull, and, thought for sure, that there was no way in hell that this was true. She had to be pulling my leg.

While I didn’t get to see my friend often, we had been close for over about 17yrs, and by all accounts, we were (and still are) sisters. I knew this girl very well, and she would NEVER steal, no matter the circumstances that life dealt her. Somehow, before we hung up the phone, she all but convinced me, that this was not a prank, and I just wanted answers.

In the days to follow, I would come to learn that she had started seeing a guy, who apparently had a penchant for crack. But, I was still unable to put 2 & 2 together, to determine what made her do it, the crack, or the stealing. As it would turn out, that strong willed, and stubborn friend of mine wasn’t the leader that I had always thought her to be. Unfortunately for her (and, her victim), she was wasn’t a shepherd, but merely a sheep, a follower.

I should’ve seen the signs, when barely 5yrs before, this nice southern girl, who shuttered at the idea of getting dirty, decided that she was gonna take up taxidermy. Why taxidermy you ask? Well, her “fiance” at the time was a deer hunting enthusiast, and, while he’d prepare the meat for future meals, she had become determined to add the head to the trophies he already had hanging in his mobile home. What? Her, of all people, was spending hour upon hour with a tiny pair of cuticle scissors, removing any (and all) fat from the inside of the hide to prepare it for mounting? Disgusting!

While her fiancé was a nice guy, I wasn’t a big fan of her engagement to him. I knew that she could do better. Especially when she informed me that it was gonna be a redneck wedding, right down to the pink camouflage gown. What? This relationship should’ve been my first clue!

Now, fast-forward to her crack days. This girl was not naive to the ways of the world, and, had in fact (to her dismay) been exposed to people/friends who had fallen prey to the addictions of crack before, and had always been able to turn away herself. So, why would she not now? What made this guy soooo special, that she would forsake her better judgment? And, how far into it do you need to be, to actually steal from someone? I needed some answers!

After months of anguish and kicking myself for not seeing the signs earlier, I came to the determination that my friend, was a follower. A chameleon, that would adapt to any environment that she found herself in.

All of the uncharacteristic things that she had done over the years, that I had called into question, I now had an answer for. With her mounting insecurity, she was looking for acceptance from those around her, and, I unfortunately, was not around her as often as I should’ve been. As a friend, or, a sister. I still kick myself for that.

While my friend has now, after much introspection and clarity, turned her life around (and done her “time”), I sit wondering.

Why do people with a strong moral backbone, and sense of “self”, lower their standards, and reduce themselves, to fit-in with those of lesser moral fiber? Why would they not attempt, instead, to lift those others, out of whatever pit they’ve fallen into? Do we have to “know where they’re coming from” to get through to them? Is it really necessary to have “gone through it myself”, to show them that things can get better? Do we need to submerge ourselves in darkness, before we can truly see that there’s light at the end of the tunnel? I think not!! Support comes in many forms, and, “I told you so“, isn‘t one of them.

Why support the recovery, when we should be supporting the person before the addiction? Why do we find it so hard to support the dreams and aspirations of others? Why are we so bound and determined to ride other peoples coat tails, instead of creating something wonderful for ourselves?

They say, that if you’re going to put your money into the stock market, that you should buy stock in a product that you use. After all, when you purchase stock in a product, you wouldn’t be so foolish as to purchase a competing product on the shelf, would you? So, I would urge you to put stock in those around you that better your lives, and, not in those that don’t.